Will 2012 be better?

OK, these are the last horrible pictures. :( Do you want to see them? SIGH

This is Pixie Hollow, I understand.















Sigh. :( But that Cheap Lady apologized to me and promised 2012 will be better. Do you think it will be?

Sammy the Squirrel does.

Not a happy St. Lucia Day

I know it's been a while. That Cheap Lady has been busy putting out a book. :(

But....

WHYYYYYYY???? That little....hooligan...has a princess dress and I don't????



Did she get to meet a princess??????????

:(



No! Why is she at Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer Island???





And she's riding a seahorse???



And lining up to watch World of Color at Disney California Adventure??? What is she? A travelogue?



Worst St. Lucia Day EVER! :( :( :(

More pictures by next week. If I can stop moping. :(

More Ghastly Photos

Kirsten tried not to look....

...but she couldn't turn away from the horrifying photos!

"Look at those buck teeth," Kirsten sniffed.

"Haaaaa," Kirsten said. "Look how tiny her head is!"

Kirsten laughed again. "Look! She got zero points!"

"Wait...." Kirsten shuddered. "Does that mean that Cheap Lady took her on Toy Story Mania with her?????"

Kirsten sniffed. "That's not fun, Jessie...that's not fun at all!!!!!!!"

"And then she took her to see Aladdin????"

"IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!"

And Kirsten realized...there were even MORE photos....

Unbelievable photos!

When we last left Kirsten she was, well, on the toilet.  Not like THAT!  Eeesh!

Her nefarious photography plot backfired when she looked on that Cheap Lady's camera and found the most horrifying picture you have EVER seen.

After staring for a long minute, Kirsten took a deep breath. "This isn't anything," she murmured. "I'm sure that Cheap Lady just saw a doll somewhere and wanted to take a picture. Yes. That's definitely it. I should just put the camera away right now and not think about it anymore."

But Kirsten couldn't do it.

"I guess I'll just check one more picture," she reasoned. "Just to make absolutely sure and--NO!"

"Well," Kirsten said, after she stopped hyperventilating.  "She must have taken that at the same location. She saw a mini American Girl doll and she missed me so much she had to take her picture. Yes, that's it."

But she couldn't stop from looking...

...and looking...

...and looking...

"Are those mouse ears in the background?" Kirsten asked.

"And that's Mickey Mouse's head!"

"I don't believe it!"

Kirsten shivered. "That Cheap Lady went to a Disney Park and took pictures....of another doll!"

Poor Kirsten had never seen anything more horrible in her life.  Are there more pictures?

Kirsten's Sleepover

It had been a loooooong time, but that Cheap Lady finally took Kirsten--that's right, the most fabulous girl from 1854 EVER, way better than a couple dolls who I am sure are very nice but could never replace the most awesome 1850s girl ever--out!

"Doll sleepover!" Kirsten cried. 

"Miss Kirsten," Nellie said. "I'm not sure it's really a sleepover.  The sun is still out."

"We're in our pajamas," Kirsten said. "It's a sleepover! Besides, you left out the best part."

Nellie was almost afraid to ask.

"What's the best part?" I asked, keeping my eyes focused on the road.

"It's that I am going to a party!" Kirsten said. "And MINI KIT IS NOT!"

"Miss Kirsten," Nellie sighed. "That's not very nice."

They finally arrived at the pajama party. There were all sorts of new people to meet! While Mini Kit wasn't there, Big Kit was. Yes, the same Big Kit who saved Kirsten's life!

Kirsten did not think it was fair that Nellie got to be in the center of the bed.

The big people ate delicious and adorable cupcakes made by Linda...

...and while the big people slept off their sugar-and-cuteness comas, the little people headed off to bed too!

Big Kit pretended she was up late reading to Nellie.

"This is boring," Kirsten grumbled. "Hey, Big Kit. I think there's a dog that needs saving over there."

"Where?" Big Kit asked, hurrying off to help.

"Yay!" Kirsten said. "We have the bed all to ourselves! I call top bunk!"

"Miss Kirsten," Nellie said. "You can't mean to take a nap?"

"Why not? We don't have a bed at home. Unless we sleep in that Cheap Lady's. And she doesn't change the sheets often enough."

"It's not nice to make fun of other people's housekeeping," Nellie said. "The nice thing would be to offer to help clean."

But after ten minutes of being pestered by Kirsten, Nellie finally got into bed.  Kirsten took the top bunk.  She waited, and waited, until she heard Nellie's heavy breaths--so loud she knew Nellie was either asleep or having an asthma attack.  Then Kirsten grabbed all the pillows and shoved them under the sheets....

...and snuck off, with that Cheap Lady's camera, where no doll has gone before...

"Now I can get some embarrassing blackmail photos!" Kirsten said. "Then that Cheap Lady will HAVE to buy me a new dress!"

But Kirsten forgot that Cheap Lady's nickname, "Iron Bladder." At length Kirsten got bored and decided to look through the pictures....

And you would not BELIEVE what she saw? What do you think it was?

**Please note, a stunt bathroom was used for the filming of this adventure. I believe Linda's is much cleaner.**

Kirsten's Butterfly Nightmare

Once upon a time, there was the most beautiful, talented, funny, lovable little mini doll EVER. She lived in a magical land called the Sonoran Desert.

And her name was MINI KIRSTEN!

Poor Mini Kirsten had to spend all day grinding maize and laboring and tallying bananas not beating up Mini Kit and all sorts of horrible things. She never got to have any fun like the other dolls got to have.

One day, the beautiful, talented, funny, lovable little Mini Kirsten decided she'd had enough. She wanted to finally have an adventure. So she ran away.

But the first thing she found was a  

BIG

PRICKLY

CACTUS!

Have you ever been poked by a cactus? It really hurts. 

Mini Kirsten screamed and ran and away. Even though cactuses don't have legs and can't usually chase you, except for jumping cactuses, which this was not. But it was still really scary.

Finally, Mini Kirsten found a beautiful secluded garden filled with flowers.

And do you know what those flowers attracted?  Bees?  No. Something much cuter.

Kittens? No. Slightly less cute.

Give up?

BUTTERFLIES!

They were EVERYWHERE!

Mini Kirsten knew that one of the butterflies, the Zebra Longwing, was not native to the Sonoran Desert. Why was a non-native butterfly in a butterfly garden? It wasn't because they imported them to Arizona. No. Of course not.

It was a MAGICAL wish butterfly!

But every time Mini Kirsten tried to run up to it, it ran away!

Finally, the most beautiful, talented, funny, lovable little mini doll in the whole world collapsed in exhaustion.

"I will NEVER find the Zebra Longwing," Mini Kirsten sighed. "If only it knew what a wonderful, charming doll I am, it would HAVE to grant my wish."

She sighed again. "And I wish it weren't so hot."

Mini Kirsten felt a tiny breeze. "What..."

"Is that a Zebra Longwing I feel, fanning me with its tiny wings?"

The butterfly flew away.

"Wait!" Mini Kirsten cried. "That wasn't my wish! You have to grant my REAL wish!"

The butterfly fixed its compound eyes on Mini Kirsten.

"I want to be a princess!" Mini Kirsten said. "And I want to live in a beautiful, huge castle!"

The magical butterfly lowered its wings...

And Mini Kirsten found herself up high in a weird place.

"Hey!"

"This is not a castle! This is some sort of replica Indian dwelling! Should've known better than to trust a butterfly."

Mini Kirsten carefully climbed down from her perch and searched for a more fabulous castle.

But all she found was a giant tumbleweed.

"I don't like this at all," she grumbled. "It's prickly and small and not even fire resistant or weatherproofed and I think a wolf could blow it down and then it would go rolling like a tire or a Nerf ball and--Eeek!"

"Desert rat!"

Mini Kirsten fled from the big scary ground squirrel. 

And speaking of gross things and rodents, Mini Kirsten suddenly turned into regular Kirsten.  And she was in a strange, unfair place...

"I should have a movie! And I should certainly be bigger than HER!!!"

"IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"

Then Kirsten remembered that princesses are always polite and never EVER throw tantrums. At least, not good princesses. So she politely went into the movie theater...and Mini Kit was there!

"Hi, Mini Kit!" Kirsten said. And they watched the movie--

TOGETHER!

"This is a pretty good movie, Mini Kit," Kirsten said.

"I'm glad you like it!" Mini Kit replied.

"Let's be friends forever!" Kirsten said.

"Yay!" said Mini Kit.

"BFFs!!!!!!!!" Kirsten said.

"Miss Kirsten?"

Kirsten groggily opened her eyes. "Nellie!"

"Are you all right, Miss Kirsten?" Nellie asked.

"I had the most terrible nightmare," Kirsten said. "I was a PRINCESS!"

"That doesn't sound terrible at all," Nellie replied. "I thought you liked pretty dresses and near-absolute power."

"I do," Kirsten said. "But princesses have to have all sorts of problems in their lives before they get a happy ending. And I didn't even get a castle. And...and...."

"And I had to be nice to EVERYONE! Even Mini Kit!"

Nellie sighed. "That's not really a bad thing, Miss Kirsten."

But Kirsten sighed in relief. "Thank goodness I am not a REAL princess! But hey, Cheap Lady? I'd still like a princess dress."

Nellie and I BOTH sighed.